A 14 Day Expose Yourself Project
Day 14 I have Grown.
Over these past two weeks I really have grown STRONGER. Personally my life is unraveling. I felt trapped and chased these past two weeks, much like the Seal is being hunted in this first photo of this layout. And then, I learned to build a cage, to keep out the shark. My next step will be to grow teeth. I'm going to need to be tough and hold my head high for the next year. I can feel it. I am going to have to be the predator and turn my current situation inside out. Day by day, my teeth get longer. So watch out. That is all.
Day 13 I love that I am.
I love that I am an eternal optimist. I always try and see the positive in things and situations. Today it was raining (tropical storm Lee) and instead of being upset the rain is keeping me inside on the one of the only days the children have off of school, I put on some rain boots and went and played in the rain.
Day 12 When I grow up.
When I grow up I want to be happy. Yes, it is that simple, and yet I find myself struggling with this elusive happiness. What does this mean? To be happy. I look at what I have, 3 beautiful children who are healthy, a safe place to live, food in the fridge, clean clothing to wear, running water anytime I want it and I get so upset for being unhappy. I know there are people in the world that dream to have what I take for granted, then that makes me feel guilty and then I am not happy. It is a vicious cycle. I need to be more thankful for everything I have and worry less about what is not working out right.
Day 11 My Inspiration
My inspiration. Such a hard thing to symbolize. I am inspired by the usual things, my kids, my faith, myself.
I have been trying for a long time to "find the light". I'm looking for light everywhere. While driving I'm looking and wondering in my mind if I had to shoot a photo there, where would I put myself, my subject? I am constantly looking at shadows and highlights, these things are NEVER not on my mind. It is like a sick obsession. Right now it is cloudy outside, overcast. I just came in from backwashing the pool, and the entire time I was watching the water flood into a fire ant hill (with satisfaction because one of those suckers had just bitten my foot!) and thinking, if I was shooting this, where would I put myself in relation to the hill of ants to get the best directional light. See what I mean? Light is never gone from my mind. I'm always thinking. Even while I am conversing with someone, I'm thinking in my head "nope, this is not a good angle, because the shadow would be on her face here, let me move over a bit..." It is sickening really. I might need professional help to deal with this light issue I have. ;)
Day 10 I need to change.
I need to change my perception of Beauty. If I could let go of the typical stereotype of "Beauty" I think I would be a much better person, inside and out! Above is a Barbie, a harmless child's toy. She symbolizes Beauty, which gives her confidence. Below is a weed. This weed doesn't care if someone thinks it is a nuisance amongst the nice green beautiful grass. It grows. Strong. It blooms with confidence and smiles at the grass around it. I wish I could be that weed, not caring that it is surrounded by beautiful things, believing it also deserves a chance to grow and shine.
Day 9 My alter Ego.
This one is really hard for me to talk about. I believe my alter ego is the one that most people know, the bubbly, happy, together, organized, smart, and confident Crystal. When my REAL ego is more scared and introverted, ask anyone that REALLY knows me, I would prefer to be alone then hang out with anyone. Sad, but true. I love being by myself. Those that only kind of know me might be shocked by this fact. It isn't that I don't like people, I love them, I love having friends and family, and I love talking to those that are close to me. I am much more reserved and sad then I show. That is why my alter ego is the one most people associate with "Crystal" and my true self is captured in this photo.
Day 8 (not so) Black and White
Life. Don't you wish it was as easy as a board game? Pick a card, follow the path, the end, you win. Life however is not so black and white. There are different paths, some lead you astray, others lead you into the great unknown and for the select few, some paths are laid out and followed exactly as planned.
I've processed these photographs with a chocolate tone. Since the title of the day is (not so) black and white I wanted to give it a different look then the usual black and white conversion.
Day 7 Business and Pleasure
I of course choose Photography as my Business and Pleasure post. I started in photography the way most people do. I enjoyed taking photos. Seems simple enough, right? WRONG! Once you start researching and learning, you realize how much you SUCK at taking pictures! :) I almost wish I could just go back to thinking my photos were pretty good, instead of now, looking at every photo and thinking what could I have done better? I almost can not even enjoy taking photos anymore.
And.That.KILLS.me.
Now that I've learned a little (and spent a lot) every image that I shoot I strive to shoot better next time.
What people do not realize (and myself included up until I got into photography as a business) is that it isn't just lets go and take a picture that takes half a second to press the shutter and go home and upload it to the website. NO. As you see in the photo above, this is me preparing for a newborn to shoot tomorrow. I spend HOURS preparing, getting sets, props, lighting, and a million other little things together even BEFORE I take the picture. And then the baby comes, a newborn session can be anywhere from 2 to 4 hours long. After the photo is actually taken, I have to repack all my photography equipment (takes about an hour) and then process the photos. Depending on how well I was able to do this process can take anywhere from 5 minutes to 5 hours per photo! With newborns, there is usually intense editing. I love my babies to look smooth and clear (not doll like) and that takes many hours of retouching. I might only get five images worth even showing to a client. And out of those five, I might be proud of only one.
Photography is an addicting hobby. The more you learn about the art, the more you realize how much you DON'T know.
Day 6 My favorite Fairy Tale.
I do not have a favorite fairy tale. I was never a fairy tale princess girl growing up. Instead I would like to show my fairy tale, my daughter. She is totally my princess, my fairy, my imagination. She loves all things fairy tales and princess.
Day 5 The Apple of my Eye.
I took a more literal interpretation of this challenge then I'm sure most people will, but I will also give my reason to post this image in which I literally am in the apple (pupil) of someone's eye.
That is me, standing there, taking a photo of the cutest little girl on the beach. I thought it was really neat how I could so clearly see myself and camera in this image. You can even see the pin light from my flash (I was using for fill....)
I am going through a rough patch right now. I feel left out, unloved. I know my family and children love me more then anything in the world, but it is my mind that is not allowing me to feel that love. I find myself yearning to be the apple of someone's eye... it just is not happening at this time and I get very upset and depressed about this fact.
Day 4 My Biggest Mistake
My biggest mistake is not going to college directly out of high school. Honestly, I have a lot of anger towards myself for not doing so. I could have gone anywhere, I have wonderful parents that would have supported any choice of college, financially and emotionally. I just didn't go, because it was not important to me at the time. I decided just to go to community college at the very end of summer, enrolled, and dropped all classes before the semester was even half way over. At the time, I was just more into hanging out and being a stupid 18 YO kid.
I put three objects in the photo to symbolize why I have not finished. The object in the front symbolize my teenage/youth priorities. Hanging out/drinking, having fun. Basically doing nothing. The college text books speak for themselves and they are in focus because NOW is see what my focus should have been. In the background is the reason I have yet to finish, the pile of laundry symbolizes my responsibilities to my family.
I have been a career college student since high school. I have an associates degree in Elementary Education. One day I will finish with a Bachelors in something. Who knows what. Only time will tell.
Day 3 Me, in one Object.
This day was easy! I knew instantly the object that is ME! My Honda Odyssey Mini Van. It describes me perfectly. I have children, more then 2. I need space. I need luxury. I need quality. I need style. I don't understand the stigma attached to the minivan, the "soccer mom" description. No wait, I take that back. I do understand why but I don't understand why it is a negative or bad thing? I am a PROUD mother. I think I am sexy and I can rock my pimped out Honda O better then an SUV. It is about attitude and I feel strong and demanding and motivated while in my van.
Look at these photos! How SEXY are they? Nice clean lines, elegant curves! Look at those tail lights!
My van is also a personal display of my life as a military spouse. Purchased at Lejeune Honda in Jacksonville, NC, now with a sticker stamping my location at Naval Hospital Pensacola, FL!
The inside is sweeeeet! I have everything I need to be in control, my GPS (which needs an updated map ($150....hint hint...someone? no, ok sad face), my XM radio, my temperature controls, DVD player for the kids, I just love this van. If you are a mom of 3 or more kids and don't have a van, you are really missing out... just saying!
Day 2 I am influenced by.
I had to think about this for a bit because influenced to me does not mean INSPIRED (which is another day of the project anyways...) so I took a different look at the word influence. What has an effect on my character, behavior, and development? I would say learning my camera and pushing it to the limits. Getting the best results on the edge of maximum capabilities.
ISO is a way to measure the sensitivity of a digital camera, basically allowing you to shoot in lower light, such as indoors. (In terms of DIGITAL. For Film there is a different but closely related definition, you can google for more info...) My D90 is a consumer grade DSLR, but a tad better than others on the market at the time of its making. Higher level PROFESSIONAL DSLR's have amazing high ISO capabilities. When one increases the ISO of their cameras, they also introduce "noise" to an image. This noise is just how the digital sensor amplifies the light and how the sensor interprets that amplification. (I think, I'm not real techie, but this is how I understand it, feel free to school me if I'm wrong, I love learnin' stuff)
So... My daughter was taking a bath. My bathroom has no windows only ceiling lighting, which is NOT enough light for a proper exposure hand held with my camera under normal settings. I decided to up my ISO until I was happy with the exposure and see what happens! My settings were 1/80, F2.8, ISO 3200 (normally I use no higher then 400 ISO). I am very pleased with how these came out.
Day 1 My Best Trait.
I always see the glass as half FULL. I am an obsessive Optimist, almost to the point of failure....
This photo is very personal. A half empty closet. What could be good about that? Well MORE closet space!! There is my optimistic take on a very devastating event that occurred in my life recently.
